My husband and I have been married for 10 years. This is an incredible achievement for us. While we desperately love one another, we don’t always like each other. It hasn’t been an easy marriage.

My husband was a confirmed bachelor when we first met. He was 35 and I was 28. We were both stuck in our ways and incredibly independent. After dating for a year and a half we married. We spent the first year fighting over finances and paying off all our debts. When our 1st anniversary came, I was one month pregnant with our baby. Naturally, we purchased a new home and shouldered a mortgage.  Eighteen months later, baby number 2 arrived. We purchased a van. Two more babies followed. Our responsibilities mounted and our time with one another dwindled. We often forget why we picked one another in the first place.

Marriage is really difficult.

On our 10th anniversary, I wrote down the 10 reasons why I’m not divorcing my husband. It’s a love letter to him without all the warm fuzzies. It’s practical reasons and a commitment to stay, even when the going gets tough.

It would be hard to find someone else to adopt our four children.

Can you imagine me telling a new boyfriend that I had four children?!? Four?!?! Who in their right mind would take on all this responsibility? God bless all of you step-parents. You are superheroes!

He grills an awesome steak (which is good because that’s all he cooks)

If I had to eat one thing for the rest of my life this would be it: Ribeye steak cooked medium rare with a baked potato and grilled Brussel sprouts. Too bad he really doesn’t cook anything else.

We are legally joined so I can’t run away without a lot of paperwork.

I barely get the bills paid on time as it is. I do not need to complicate my life with divorce proceedings, a court battle or tax issues. I like him enough to avoid all of that.

He let me have a cat.

He is allergic to cats. I needed a cat. He let me adopt a cat because I’m crazy and he knew when to step away and let me have what I want.

He lets me sleep in once a week.

If it wasn’t for him, there would be no sleeping past 6:30AM on the weekends. He gets up and corrals the kids back into their rooms so I get just a few more minutes to lay in bed. Sometimes, he even makes coffee. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

He keeps the children alive when I’m not around.

According to I need to pay a babysitter almost $20 an hour to watch all my kids. That is too expensive for a night out. As an added bonus, I don’t have to drop the kids off at the babysitter; I just leave.

I know how to manipulate him to get what I want.

It would take me years to learn how to manipulate someone else. I know exactly what he wants to hear and how to get him to do what I want. Unfortunately, he knows the same things about me.

He’s smart enough to anticipate my breaking point and saves himself just before I toss in the towel.

He loves living on the edge. He pushes all my buttons and laughs as I fly into a tizzy. Eventually, my aggravation becomes rage and he says exactly the right thing to bring me back to sanity.

He’s cute and makes me laugh.

He has accents and characters that are too inappropriate for me to share here in a public forum. His dad jokes are legendary and I just love his silly offhand comments.

He knows all my secrets and tells people I’m wonderful anyway.

I’m not perfect. I’m a Chihuahua-squirrel hybrid that no one should have to live with. He tells everyone that I’m spectacular and that he loves me, even when I know I don’t deserve it.

My favorite picture from our wedding. Taken by artist Mandi Outlaw creator of Bonjour Wax Company

Of course, I wanted him to tell me his reasons for not divorcing me. I imagined the sweet and dramatic honesty that 10 years has taught him. Instead, he said the following:

10 reasons why I haven’t divorced my wife

  1. Left Butt Cheek
  2. Right Butt Cheek
  3. Left Breast
  4. Right Breast
  5. You feed me.
  6. You let me touch you.
  7. You change the dirtiest diapers for me.
  8. You are here when I come home from work.
  9. Did I say you feed me? Definitely add that in there. I like it when you feed me.
  10. I don’t know anymore. I think I’m done.

Please take the time to ask your husband the 10 reasons he hasn’t divorced you. I suspect they won’t be far off from the reasons above.

I know we aren’t the only couple without a “perfect” relationship. Share your imperfections with all those couples who aren’t living the easy marriage they expected. Tell them they will make it. Encourage them to make each other laugh and remind each other daily that they picked their spouse out of all the others. That’s something worth keeping.


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