My life is full of men: One big, two tiny. It’s safe to say my house is full of Star Wars, stinky socks, and the gear to play any sport known to man. In light of this fact, I will be sharing a few of my favorite boy mom truths with you. Let me preface my “boy mom truths” by saying that I love being a boy mom, and that some of these truths are probably universal with girls as well, but obviously, I wouldn’t know about that. So here we go, enjoy!
Truth #1 :: You Will Tap Into Your Wild Side
If you don’t already have a wild side, you will! Danger, dirt, nudity, adventure, these will all be a part of your daily life. So if you missed running with the “wild crowd” in college, never fear. Your life now is basically an ongoing episode of Naked and Afraid. Boys have an uncanny ability of making every situation dangerous and every outfit dirty. Just accept it and stock up on band-aids and stain removal…and maybe wine.
Truth #2 :: You’ll Develop a Childlike Sense of Humor
Boys find everything funny. Especially body sounds, body functions, and body parts. They find them hilarious. Teaching good manners is a great and noble thing to do, but sometimes everyone just needs a good laugh. It’s ok, one day they will grow up and develop a more mature, civilized sense of humor….just kidding, they probably won’t. So enjoy the moment and let yourself laugh too. No judgments here.
Truth #3 :: You Will Develop Feet of Steel
Legos, train tracks, blocks, booby traps…just walking around your house is like the mom version of American Ninja Warrior. A couple years and you’re sure to be a master. You will probably be able to walk on hot coals in the future like it’s nothing.
Truth #4 :: You Will Develop Thicker Skin
When Your boys expose themselves in public to pee at the playground, you’ll laugh because this isn’t your first rodeo. If they don’t get it on their clothes or an innocent bystander, you count it as a win. At least it’s easy peasy to potty on the go – aka behind the closest bush when needed. And if you only reproduce boys, you’ll learn to shrug off comments like “you poor thing” or “don’t you want a girl.” They obviously don’t know how awesome your boys are, but you do.
Truth #5 :: You Will Learn to Speed Shop
Whether it’s clothes or groceries you will master the quickest, most efficient way of getting what you need and getting out before someone in your party starts to lose it. You may have to turn those aisles at Publix like you’re driving on the Daytona Speedway, but you’ll get it done in record time. You may also work up a sweat from trying on skinny jeans like it’s a speed race, but you know that you have to get out before the party you brought to the dressing room gets too rowdy. You’ll get it done or learn the joys of shopping online.
And at the end of each day you will be totally spent, exhausted, and more in love than the day before. Thankfully boys have an uncanny ability to offer kisses, hugs, and sweet words seconds before mama is going to lose it. I’m convinced it’s a God-given, innate survival skill. And as soon as they go to bed you will look at those “I can’t believe they did this” photos on your phone and laugh. And when you look at their sweet, cuddly, dare I say angelic sleeping faces, you’ll be given just the right amount of love (and courage) to do it again tomorrow.