Every morning I wake up, get out of bed, and begin my day in my chosen career as a stay-at-home mom. Immediately after the birth of my first child, it was clear to me that this was the most fulfilling job I could have. Now that I have two children, my days are filled with endless questions, muddy footprints, and the most wonderful emotional connections. All of this is great, but…
My Lack Of Legitimate Career Nags At Me
My family is financially stable and preparing for the future. Everyone I know is supportive of my decision. I love being at home with the children. Why can’t I just be satisfied?
Maybe it is my inner over-achiever whispering softly in my ear. You can do more — you can achieve accolades that can be measure on paper or with dollar signs. With the exception of happy and growing children, measuring a stay-at-home mom’s worth is challenging. It is largely a thankless job. We give, give, and give, but don’t receive tangible bonuses or rewards.
I only know a handful of other moms that don’t work, and there often seems to be a caveat behind it, like: I am just waiting until the baby is over a year; or, once the kids are school age I am going to get back to my career. It sounds a bit like just being a caretaker isn’t enough.
It sounds that way, but we know better. I know it is enough. My career in this household is what my family most needs from me. There must already be a plethora of articles floating around the internet really driving that point home — being a stay-at-home mom is most definitely enough.
But Still, It Nags At Me
It is because not having a career is not the norm. I think it must be human nature to compare ourselves to other people. It happens constantly, even unconsciously. Being the different one is hard on the mind. The thought process goes a little something like this: Wait, what I’m doing is different from almost everyone else? Why does everyone else do it differently? Is their way the better way? It must be if so many people are doing it.
And therefore, despite already knowing that what I do is fine for me, I sometimes doubt it. I bet there is something you doubt about yourself too, just because it is different. The great news is that now we simply have to fix this thought process. The next time we catch ourselves doubting, instead of letting those negative feelings drain us, we must stop and evaluate them, like: Do I have any evidence to support this idea? Nope, it was just a stupid thought.
Now let me try this sentence about my lack of career again:
Now that I have two children, my days are filled with endless questions, muddy footprints, and the most wonderful emotional connections. All of this is great, but…
No buts — really, it is great.